aghhhhh

Now.

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:17:13 GMT

Things will start happening.now.
No more tomorrow will be the day being thin becomes a proper reality. Things are going to start now. I'm sick and tired of being a Fat fucking Failure. It's bollix.

URGENT

Sun, 11 May 2008 20:01:41 GMT

Will swallowing toothpaste help me purge?
I cut the back of my throat last week and i cant use my fingers really...please let me know ASAP all this food inseide me right now...i dont know what to do please please help???

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:48:16 GMT

Yes basically love how my Dad is worried i study too much and put myself under pressure with school but is totally ignorant to the fact that i have an ED *Sarcasm*
Well i guess its only slight sarcasm as i don't know what i'd do if they knew what's really going on.
It's weird admitting to myself (again) that somethings wrong with me, i don't know it just feels so much more real this time..as though it'll never end, i guess last time i felt like i could stop if i wanted to..

Back.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:09:06 GMT

Back as of yesterday..It already has my motiviation increased, i can't really say it's been lacking though in the last few weeks..

Parents=Bastards.
Don't be too thin, but don't be too fat.
How about fuck off...*Cry*

Hmm..moment of enjoyment today was reading:
'A smile is half the meal'
I grinned from ear to ear.

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 15:16:10 GMT

best friend rang me after cutting herself, says im the only one she can talk to..probably because she knows i self-harm too and thinks i can help her..
so i now its not just my life i fuck up but others aswell..

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 20:16:16 GMT

so much for november being a new month..i was pathetic...disguisting..i still am!

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 16:05:20 GMT

Eww im actually disguisting..the last few days..what would i do to erase them..
new month,new start, ugh i actually can't bear to be positive..

im disguisting

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:46:05 GMT

im a mess..too afraid to weight myself until apres two day fast....not even hungry so far today because i ate so much last night...

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 09:38:55 GMT

i have a tough week ahead..i have to prove to myself i can do it..

Friends over for the week-end, i cant allow myself to fuck up...

and next week im not in school till half 5 each day, there wont be any distractions....

i have to stay strong..

this w/e

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 16:31:47 GMT

tis w/e has been one of the worst, got mega drunk on friday and binged, but at least i didnt break down cryin in front of everyone lyk the last few times.
yesterday, god i dont think i have ever been so depressed in my life, i started writing a journal though and everytime i feel a binge coming on im going to read it but it might make me more depressed readng it..
-my life sucks
-my body sucks
and mother is totally suspic.ughh

xx

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 19:52:37 GMT

am seriously depressed at the moment...what the hell?

xxxxxx

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 14:46:54 GMT

hmm yday was great..todays ok had about 250 cals so far, had not planned on having that much by this stage in the day, am staying in a friends house later and she always has loads of food....am going to just say i've eaten but she gets suspic mega easily ughhh i havent seen her in ages and now im going to be in a bad mood with her if i eat?

had such a good day in school, am doing really well and now i feel good about myself im usually more likely to minge and then feel shit about myself...

ughhh sorry about the rant..

xxxxxxxxx

woo

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:55:03 GMT

todays going really well havent broken my fast and i feel great...i wish id just be able to remember this feeling next time i binge....

xxx

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:46:24 GMT

only really learned how to use the jouranl today?!?

todays been ok but i dont feel hungry enough..does anyone ever get that feeling, i need to feel hungry to know im working?!?

x x x x